Este fin de semana me reuni con una amiga a la que no veia hace varios meses. Aunque sabia que se estaba separando, no sabia los detalles de la separacion. Tras escucharlos (y que, como sabeis, no compartire por respetar su privacidad, sobre todo en una situacion tan delicada) llegue a la conclusion de que me faltaba algo. No que ella no me lo hubiera contado todo, sino que lo que me habia contado no me parecia suficiente para romper una relacion de casi una decada. Si, era evidente que habian pasado una crisis y las cosas se podrian haber hecho mucho mejor. Pero que pareja que este junta durante muchos años no va a pasar por una crisis? Y aunque las cosas se pudieran haber hecho mejor, ninguna de ellas me parecio imperdonable. Me parecio que si se daban una oportunidad, seguramente les llevaria meses reconstruir la confianza y poder mirar hacia adelante sin resentimiento. Pero, como le dije, poniendo las cosas en la balanza me seguia pareciendo que habian hecho mucho mas para construir la familia que tenian que las cosas negativas que habian hecho para "destruirla". Como tambien le dije a mi amiga, esa es la clave para mi - con la excepcion de una traicion. Si han pasado cosas malas, si nos hemos comportado como los seres imperfectos que somos, pero la construccion de los cimientos de una vida en comun, de nuestro futuro, es mucho mas significativa que los errores que hemos cometido, para mi ese no seria el final de mi relacion.
Y vosotr@s que pensais? Hay que estar juntos solo mientras las cosas vayan bien? Si durante una separacion se cometen errores, cual es el error que os impediria poder mirar hacia el futuro e intentar reconstruir una historia de amor?
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This weekend I met with a friend that I had not seen for several months. Although I knew that she was separating from her partner, I did not know the details of the separation. After listening (and, as you know, I will not share details to respect her privacy, especially in such a delicate situation) I came to the conclusion that something was missing. Not that she'd told me everything, but what I had heard did not seem enough to break a relationship of almost a decade. Yes, it was evident that they had gone through a crisis and things could have been done much better. But what long-lasting couple is not going to go through a crisis? And although things could have been done better none of them seemed to me unforgivable. I thought that if they gave it a try, it surely would take months to rebuild trust and to look forward without resentment. But, as I told her, putting things on the scale, it still seemed they had done much more to build their family compared to the negative things they had done to "destroy" it. As I also told my friend, that's the key for me - with the exception of a betrayal. If bad things have happened, if we behaved as imperfect beings that we are, but the foundation of our common life, our future, is much more significant than the mistakes we made, for me that would not be the end of my relationship.
What do you all think? Would you stay together just as long as things go well? If mistakes are made during a separation, what kind of mistake would prevent you from looking forward and rebuilding your love story?
What do you all think? Would you stay together just as long as things go well? If mistakes are made during a separation, what kind of mistake would prevent you from looking forward and rebuilding your love story?