Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta amigos. Mostrar todas las entradas
Mostrando entradas con la etiqueta amigos. Mostrar todas las entradas

12 dic 2011

Cuando se sabe que una relacion ha llegado a su fin? - How do we know that a relationship has come to an end?

Este fin de semana me reuni con una amiga a la que no veia hace varios meses. Aunque sabia que se estaba separando, no sabia los detalles de la separacion. Tras escucharlos (y que, como sabeis, no compartire por respetar su privacidad, sobre todo en una situacion tan delicada) llegue a la conclusion de que me faltaba algo. No que ella no me lo hubiera contado todo, sino que lo que me habia contado no me parecia suficiente para romper una relacion de casi una decada. Si, era evidente que habian pasado una crisis y las cosas se podrian haber hecho mucho mejor. Pero que pareja que este junta durante muchos años no va a pasar por una crisis? Y aunque las cosas se pudieran haber hecho mejor, ninguna de ellas me parecio imperdonable. Me parecio que si se daban una oportunidad, seguramente les llevaria meses reconstruir la confianza y poder mirar hacia adelante sin resentimiento. Pero, como le dije, poniendo las cosas en la balanza me seguia pareciendo que habian hecho mucho mas para construir la familia que tenian que las cosas negativas que habian hecho para "destruirla". Como tambien le dije a mi amiga, esa es la clave para mi - con la excepcion de una traicion. Si han pasado cosas malas, si nos hemos comportado como los seres imperfectos que somos, pero la construccion de los cimientos de una vida en comun, de nuestro futuro, es mucho mas significativa que los errores que hemos cometido, para mi ese no seria el final de mi relacion. 

Y vosotr@s que pensais? Hay que estar juntos solo mientras las cosas vayan bien? Si durante una separacion se cometen errores, cual es el error que os impediria poder mirar hacia el futuro e intentar reconstruir una historia de amor?

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This weekend I met with a friend that I had not seen for several months. Although I knew that she was separating from her partner, I did not know the details of the separation. After listening (and, as you know, I will not share details to respect her privacy, especially in such a delicate situation) I came to the conclusion that something was missing. Not that she'd told me everything, but what I had heard did not seem enough to break a relationship of almost a decade. Yes, it was evident that they had gone through a crisis and things could have been done much better. But what long-lasting couple is not going to go through a crisis? And although things could have been done better none of them seemed to me unforgivable. I thought that if they gave it a try, it surely would take months to rebuild trust and to look forward without resentment. But, as I told her, putting things on the scale, it still seemed they had done much more to build their family compared to the negative things they had done to "destroy" it. As I also told my friend, that's the key for me - with the exception of a betrayal. If bad things have happened, if we behaved as imperfect beings that we are, but the  foundation of our common life, our future, is much more significant than the mistakes we made, for me that would not be the end of my relationship.

What do you all think? Would you stay together just as long as things go well? If  mistakes are made during a separation, what kind of mistake would prevent you from looking forward and rebuilding your love story?

4 oct 2011

Son los hombres mejores amigos que las mujeres? - Are men better friends than women?



Mi respuesta, con maravillosas excepciones, es que si. No se si tiene algo que ver con el hecho de que me crie con dos hermanos y aprendi mucho de ellos en cuanto a amistad. Tambien podria ser que pienso esto porque me he llevado contadas decepciones con hombres amigos e innumerables decepciones con mujeres amigas. Aunque tengo la gran suerte de tener amigas a las que considero parte de mi familia, tambien tengo conocidas a las que noto continuamente compitiendo con el resto de las mujeres. Y como no naci ayer pienso: si haces eso con otras mujeres, conmigo tambien lo haces aunque no me lo digas. Eso es lo que mas me gusta de los hombres en cuanto a la amistad. Un hombre es tu amigo y punto. A un hombre no le importa si eres alta o baja, tienes buen o mal tipo, o si te ascendieron en el trabajo. Simplemente es tu amigo y te quiere por quien eres. Vosotr@s que pensais?


My answer, with wonderful exceptions, is yes. I'm not sure if my position has something to do with the fact that I was raised with two brothers and I learned a lot from them in terms of friendship. Also I think this could be because I've been disappointed many more times by girlfriends than by male friends. Although I have the good fortune to have friends that I consider part of my family, I also have acquaintances that are constantly competing with other women. I was not born yesterday: if you do that with other women, you do the same with me but you just don't tell me. That's what I like the most about men when it comes to friendship. A man is your friend, period. A man does not care if you're tall or short, you have a good or bad body, or if you are professionally successful. He is just your friend and loves you for who you are. What do YOU think?